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ACROSS HANDBOOK Excel's Comprehensive Guide to
Keeping Ha-Chan (Vaguely) Alive ACROSS Personnel Lord Il Palazzo Today's Mission... FAILED? Sims 2 Tonzura Koite! |
Excel's Comprehensive Guide to Keeping Ha-Chan (Vaguely) AliveGreetings, ACROSS sympathizers! Today's directive is to discuss Ha-chan's unique medical condition and how to treat it! SO LISTEN UP, Y'ALL, 'CAUSE THIS IS IMPORTANTE, DIG?
I. Medicine Ha-chan is pretty good about supplying her own pharmaceuticals, so don't worry about obtaining any for her. If you chance upon some, however, I'm sure she'd appreciate it if you gave them to her. Conversely, if Ha-chan offers any of her medicine to you, FOR THE LOVE OF LORD IL PALAZZO DO NOT TAKE IT. Just... trust me on this one, okay? II. Mornings Ha-chan is not a morning person. That doesn't mean she's grumpy or sulky (like certain other people I could name), but in fact that she has usually departed this mortal plane. Helpful morning-resurrection techniques include CPR (but don't do the mouth-to-mouth part, at least, not unless you want your life force sucked out through the lips), submersion in lukewarm water (warm water would probably work better, but who do I look like, Donald Trump?), and yelling her name until she finally decides to descend the escalator to heaven and make you breakfast! III. Cold Weather Ha-chan has a particularly difficult time bootin' up in the winter. If you find her frozen, do not — I repeat, DO NOT — use your own body heat to warm her up. In popsicle mode, Ha-chan will suck the heat out of you faster'n a vat of liquid nitrogen! It's not worth any of our singular lives to supply her zillionth one (no offense, Ha-chan)! There are many other ways to heat up Ha-chan that don't involve that kind of kamikaze mission! IV. Burns Okay, so you've accidentally charred large portions of Ha-chan's body trying to heat her up. Don't beat yourself up too much! It's a mistake any of us could have made! Just put out the flames and carry her to safety. Don't worry about the burns themselves, because they'll heal before you know it. Literally. In fact, do your best not to think about the burns at all... V. What To Do When You Find Ha-Chan Lying in a Pool of Her Own Blood First off, stay calm. You'll eventually become more-or-less used to
the sight of oxygenated hemoglobin and the stench of clotting death.
At this stage, there's not a whole lot you can actually do about it,
so just clean her up as best you can and move her to somewhere where
the masses will not be able to see her. It helps if you can find somewhere
warm (but not too warm!) to put her VI. Speaking of Blood... If all else fails, give her some blood. It doesn't matter what type (she rejects them all equally), and it's okay for her to take it orally, since that's where it all seems to come from in the first place. Hospitals are the best option for obtaining this blood, of course, but drastic times... Take my advice, however, and don't give her your own blood. It's not something I've ever tried, but just think, what if she acquired a taste for it, hmm? Then where would you be? VII. Don't Get So Used to It that You Forget to Resurrect Her Let's be honest here — we all want to see how much Ha-chan can
take before she permanently dies. Curiosity is a natural thing that
makes us human. However, just because we're all desensitized
to the horror of her demise does NOT make it okay to murder her, whether
through purposeful acts or negligence! In short: DON'T KILL HA-CHAN,
NOT EVEN IF IT WOULD BE REALLY INTERESTING |