"Va?ca?tion?" Excel cried, each syllable drawn out with its own note of horror. "You let Elgala go on vacation?"

Il Palazzo was not amused by her outburst. "I believe I have granted you the same accommodation in the past. And unlike that time, she formatted the request properly," he added, glare piercing through her.

Excel shrunk back, but her indignation quickly overwhelmed her shame. "What about Hyatt, sir? Good old reliable (sort of) Ha-chan has been working hard (in her own way) for the cause for years and she's never asked for any sort of break (that didn't involve death)!"

"Would you like a vacation, Hyatt?" Il Palazzo asked.

"P-point blank..." Excel whimpered.

Hyatt looked innocent. "I don't want to be any trouble..."

Unable to stand Hyatt looking the most selfless of Lord Il Palazzo's subordinates, Excel burst, "It's no trouble, Lord Il Palazzo! She deserves it!"

"As Excel said. I am sure she will cope adequately if your departure is brief," said Il Palazzo, smiling at his little joke. "So, Hyatt, do you wish to take a vacation?"

"Thank you, sir..." For a short moment, Hyatt looked utterly blissful. "I truly... appreci... ate..." At that moment, she spurted an amount of blood nearly copious even for her, and collapsed on the floor.

Excel paled. "H-Ha-chan..."

"Ah, so that is her way of relaxing." Il Palazzo laughed.

"Uh-huh," Excel agreed with a sigh.

The gurney platform rose from the floor. "If you could."

"Yessir!" Excel loaded up the corpse. "She'll have a very restful vacation, being at peace and all!"

Il Palazzo pulled the rope. "Please, if you could refrain from such morbid humor."

"Sorry, sir!" Excel's head popped up from the trap door, and as she crawled up, she asked, "But what about you? Lord Il Palazzo works harder than anyone... surely you deserve to relax more than anyone, too!"

"Relax?" He rubbed his nose. "I am hardly aware of such a word..."

"That's terrible!" Excel burst. "I... I worry so much about you, Lord Il Palazzo! It would ease your Excel's mind so greatly if you were to take a small break as well!"

This was where the miscommunication occurred. Excel paused, leading her lord to believe that she had stopped, while in fact she was bolstering her confidence to ask something quite brazen indeed. He began to say, "Perhaps I shall," in response to her previous statement, and an insincere, flippant "Perhaps I shall" at that. However, the timing of the phrase came out just as such that it immediately followed Excel's next question, which was:

"Would my lord deign to come with me?"

Both parties noticed the error immediately, Il Palazzo too frozen in horror at what he just agreed to even to pull the rope, and Excel's vision blurring with sparkles and rose petals and rainbow gradients. A brief but awkward moment of silence ensued.

"R-really?" Her blush immediately reaching critical levels, she stammered, "Are you- do you- wh-where would you like to go?"

Now, despite the massive intelligence Il Palazzo knew himself to have (or even the formidable intelligence he actually did have), there were times when the cogs just stopped turning. He stared down at Excel, uncomprehending.

"What kinds of things does my lord like to do?" she went on. "I don't suppose it'd be anything like Tokyo Disneyland."

Il Palazzo knew that he had to act quickly. He turned back to his old failsafe; the rope. Unfortunately, it did not have the desired effect, as Excel crawled back up, completely undaunted.

"Right, sorry for even suggesting it! But what does my lord enjoy? It couldn't be anything as simple as going to the beach, could it? The weather's been so nice lately, and I could make lunch! Unless you'd rather have it c-c-catered..."

She looked horrified, suddenly, as though she could see price tags streaking before her eyes. Il Palazzo seized the opportunity. "As generous as your offer is, I shall not impose upon your--"

"No!" she yelped. "Er-- you're not imposing!

"Rather, to add to your already considerable burdens--"

"You're not a burden!" she insisted, eyes as hard as steel.

Il Palazzo stared at Excel.

Excel stared at Il Palazzo.

Just this once, it was Il Palazzo who wavered.

"Very well," he said. "You are dismissed, and... and we shall reconvene when the proper necessities have been gathered." He paused, overcome with a sudden sense of dread, but pressed on. "Do not worry about lunch. I shall pick you up."

"Y-yessir! Hail Il Palazzo!"

She left in a rush and he watched after her for some time, wondering to what he had just agreed. But he was not a man of great regrets, and he would not let something like this cause him distress. When the time came, he pulled off his shoulderpads, picked up a book, and teleported to her apartment.

Il Palazzo respected Excel's tenacity when it came to blending in with the lower world. As with all things, she gave it her all. She had truly situated herself in a place where she would be no different from the peasants that they were to conquer. That having been said, he thought her apartment was a wretched hovel and would do well to be destroyed sometime in the near future.

He knocked.

A huge thud sounded from inside the apartment, but the door opened almost immediately. Excel stared up at him, red-faced and breathless.

"Shall we go?" he asked.

"Yes, please!"

He turned toward the stairs, and she scooped up a duffel bag from the floor, scrambling after him. "I-- I wasn't sure what to pack so I got some towels and a beach ball and--"

"Do you have any particular location in mind?"

"Um... there's a beach that Hyatt, Elgala and I have visited on some occasions, but..."

"Is it within walking distance?"

"Yes! Unless my lord is disinclined to take such an undistinguished method of trans--"

"I enjoy walking. Which direction?"

She pointed. "But it's open to the public, so it'd be crowded now..."

He was already walking. "This overcrowded world... a situation like this results from larger issues than mere biological impulses, and it will be up to us to correct it. To utter the word 'eugenics' is distasteful to the utmost, and yet nature itself is no longer enough to inhibit the species... How wasteful it all is. How unnecessary."

"But the problem is the opposite in this country, isn't it?" Excel noted.

"Xenophobic nonsense. This world has no shortage of human beings."

"That reminds me! Does my lord have an alias? Something I can call you in public?"

He wondered idly if the blood pooling in her face left the rest of her body in a state of neglect. "I am not concerned with traveling incognito. You may call me whatever you wish."

She looked sheepish. "Please do the same, sir!"

A large portion of the trip was made with such conversation, Il Palazzo soliloquizing his disapproval and disdain for the general state of affairs, and Excel listened carefully, offering her (often incorrect) opinions with increasing confidence summoned by the lack of pit trap. Eventually they reached the shoreline, and found it flocked with people. Excel, ever the dramatic, became immediately crestfallen.

"They're like ants at our picnic! I'm so sorry, Lord Il Palazzo! Maybe if we went down the beach, and--"

"Calm yourself. It's no trouble."

"It isn't?"

"Mm. I came prepared for this contingency." He held out an upturned palm (and there was an awkward few seconds in which Excel stared, panicked, unsure of whether whether she was supposed to be taking his hand) and from it sprung a holographic interface. From that point, it was a simple command to enter, and he dismissed the display as quickly as he had summoned it. "Just a few minutes, then."

"How did you do that? Or more importantly, what did you just do, sir?"

Il Palazzo's smile was bright and cheerful. "Do you remember? It was my own dear Excel who noticed the connection between the pit trap and the ocean."

Her eyes glazed over slightly as the realization dawned, even before the cries of "SHARK!" began to pierce the air.

"L... Lord Il Palazzo... did you just...?"

"We should have the beach to ourselves in short order. Ah! There is an acceptable umbrella." He made his way to it, pausing only to use a Jedi mind trick to convince a lifeguard that yes, the two of them were exempt from the beach evacuation.

"My lord conquers so easily," murmured Excel reverently. "Oh! But we won't be able to swim now!"

"I didn't think that would deter you," he replied. "Pick up that chair over there, will you?" he added, pointing.

"This one?" she called back, situating it under the table that her lord might sit without waiting for a reply.

He brushed it off and retrieved his secret weapon - the book - which he immediately began to read. Excel lay a towel down next to him (but not next to him enough to be disrespectful) and sat down. "Nice weather today."

"Mm," he agreed.

"Your Excel is lucky to be here with you."

"Mm," he agreed.

"I'm excited to see what you have planned for food, sir!"

"Food?" he echoed.

"Yessir! After Lord Il Palazzo volunteered to bring the food, I've been so excited I can hardly contain myself!"

"Ah, did I volunteer...?" He looked thoughtful, and then pointed to an abandoned takoyaki stand down the beach. "Is that for food?"

"Er... it contains food, yes..."

He smiled. "Then by all means, please help yourself."

"M-my lord is so resourceful..." Excel replied nervously. "Um. Would you like some?"

"No thank you." He flipped a page.

Excel scampered off to retrieve the cart, serve herself, and eat. She looked so dejected when he glanced up from his book that even Il Palazzo, whose heart was three sizes too small, felt a twinge of pity. Marking his spot, he set the book aside. "Was there something specific you had in mind, Excel?"

Her expression was very Menchi-in-the-frying-pan. "A-anything you want to do is okay, my lord!"

"Very well," he said. "Let us build a sand castle."

Excel's expression morphed from shock to befuddlement. "What?"

"With this chair as the throne... I think nine square meters should do it. Turrets on the land-facing wall. Perhaps a moat..."

Excel scratched the side of her head, already pondering the lack of structural integrity. "Ah. So that's the size you want it..."

"Well, it's only a sand castle, after all. With my design, you should be able to build it easily."

With the realization that Il Palazzo might actually be helping her in some tangible fashion, Excel's reluctance became immediately overtaken by joy. "Yessir! It'll be a testament to its kind and any other! The greatest castle of all time!"

And so the building began, with Excel running buckets of sand up and down the beach to begin her construction. Il Palazzo supervised (or rather, he supervised the contents of his book), and the wall grew, until it was taller than Excel herself. When it was done, she stood back and peered at it with pride.

"Here it is! The fruit of nigh-uncountable construction jobs, and the foundation upon which ACROSS will build our castle!"

She pat the wall reverently.

It fell on her.

The mound of sand which contained Il Palazzo's subordinate twitched and writhed. Her hand burst forth, stretching shakily upward. Il Palazzo peered down at it. He could hear her garbled whimpers, but they were difficult to make out. After some consideration, he marked his book once more and went to her side, pulling her out that she might better enunciate. Excel wobbled into him, coughing compulsively and projecting sand on his glorious raiment.

"How reckless," he scolded. "What an awkward situation you would have forced me into,, were you to expire in such a way."

"Sorry," she sputtered. "I can... do better... soon as... out of my lungs..."

"There is no need." He brushed a mound of sand from the top of her head, for he found it to be unsightly.

"Could melt into glass... though there'd be no room... to throw... stones..." As Excel's ability to breathe and make jokes returned to her, so did her cognitive capacity, and she realized suddenly that she had stumbled directly into Il Palazzo's arms.

Il Palazzo noticed as well. "I see that your stand-up routine has not wavered, but are you able to stand up with your own strength?"

"Ah! Yes, my lord! Sorry!" She jumped away, bowing so deeply she nearly fell over again.

He frowned at her disapprovingly, but she did not notice and he declined to comment. Instead, he turned his face upwards and noted, "It shall be dark soon."

"It is getting pretty late. Lord Il Palazzo must want to go home, huh?" she commented lamely.

"No... in all honesty, I do not leave the base often. I thought I might stay and watch the sunset."

"Oh." An awkward silence. "Can I watch the sunset too, Lord Il Palazzo?"

He shrugged, and they resumed their respective spots on the beach chair and towel. Il Palazzo watched the sun sink into the sea, and Excel watched Il Palazzo. She didn't make a sound, at first terrified of destroying the moment, but gradually setting into a more comfortable silence. It was surprisingly easy to keep her mouth shut, but then, she hadn't been this content for as long as she could remember.

No, it was Il Palazzo who spoke first. Never looking away from the stars, he said, "Sitting here like this, it's easy to imagine that we could go back in time... but we must not be overcome with foolish sentimentalism."

Excel had no idea what he was talking about, as was not uncommon, and when it became apparent that he did not intend to continue, she prompted for more information. "What do you mean, Lord Il Palazzo?"

He was quiet for such a long moment that she assumed he hadn't heard her. She opened her mouth to speak again, but he beat her to it. "Never mind." He finally peered down at her. "I am willing to allow you more time off if that's what you wish, but this has been enough vacation for the both of us, don't you think?"

"If it's enough for you, it's enough for me!"

He nodded. "I'll see you at the base, then," he said, and was gone.

"Lord Il Palazzo is so amazing," she murmured to herself, and packed up her duffel bag with as much takoyaki as would fit, and went home.